I need a filter. Not for my coffee machine, or for my Kenwood water jug, but for my mouth. The problem is, sometimes I say stupid things. And in no way do I imagine that this doesn't happen to all of us at some time or another, but I mean, it seems to happen to me more often than not! If I took a second or two to just think about what I am going to say, and what it actually sounds like to others then I wouldn't end up asking people questions which sound ridiculously inappropriate, telling people about bananas or accidentally asking people out when I'm just trying to make conversation. Turns out, conversation is a mine field. I need as much help as I can get.
Recently, there has been a video doing the rounds on the Internet where a guy is portrayed as having a pretty rubbishy life, but managing, via Facebook, to make it look like he's having the most amazing time ever. In all fairness, I think we're all guilty of sugar coating our lives for the purposes of social media but I have a bit of a critique for this video (And let's be real here, it's totally using reductio ad absurdum since I question how many people actually fake these kinda things for Facebook. Watch the video here)
Firstly, not airing your dirty laundry in public is a common practice in 'real' social situations. This doesn't mean that you can't admit when things aren't going to plan, or that I've got beef with people using Facebook to say negative things. Rather, if people don't want to talk about negative things then maybe it's because there's a bunch of people on their Facebook friends list that don't need to know this information, or that they don't want to know this information. It's not because our life is a social media lie, it's because our Facebook friends list is bigger than our everyday social circle, and we want to be careful about what we share.
Secondly, having a filter is a good thing. How many times a day do I wish that I had used reflection time before opening my mouth and saying something? A million times. Okay, maybe half a million, as I'm trying to work on it at the moment. The point is that I love that Facebook forces me to think about that I post before I post it. That doesn't mean that I always manage to post something interesting or funny (not for lack of trying...) but it does mean that I try to think about the impact of what I'm saying and the message that I'm putting out there. And hopefully, as a result, manage to avoid bearing all to everyone ever. I mean, nobody needs to know EVERYTHING that happens to me. (Trust me, it's pretty boring anyway)
I get that the video's point is mostly that reality and Facebook are different kettles of fish, and I agree that this is true. However what makes me sad is that people seem to be taking this video as a total attack on sharing their positive life experiences with their Facebook friends. And I fear that the result could be several thousand regular social media users feverishly analysing their every post on the Internet, and metaphorially backed into a corner, shaking, wondering 'WHAT IS REALITY ANYWAY?'. ("Well, I was going to post that I'm drinking tea and watching the footy, but then I don't want to rub it in my best friend's face because her TV is broken... Maybe I shouldn't say anything. Why do I need to say that anyway? I should just enjoy the footy, not talk about it." That kinda thing...)
Why are we punishing ourselves for being positive? Why are we guilt tripping ourselves for posting pictures that make us look happy, or for focussing on the good things in life rather than the bad things? Or just for telling others about the fun things that we're doing? Surely positivity can only breed more positivity?
Is it really so bad that I didn't want to publish the number of negative experiences that I've had in my life on Facebook? What would I achieve by doing so? They certianly wouldn't go away by making them public and it wouldn't make for comfortable reading anyway.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't criticise others for using social media to talk about bad things in their life. Facebook is a great way for talking to others about problems and sometimes a call out on social media is how people can get the help they need. Sharing problems can also be a good thing, because people shouldn't have to deal with things alone.
My point really is that we need to give ourselves, and others, a break. Yeah, sure, take social media with a pinch of salt. And if someone really is saying something on Facebook that you don't want to see, feel free to hide it or delete them as a friend.
Personally, I think I'd like to continue exercising my right to use the fliter that is social media. Afterall, nobody needs to know about me prancing around in my underwear to 80s music, do they?
(OOOPPPPSSSS)
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