Exit Dreams

Felt inspired to write this after the poetry recital yesterday.  Really enjoyed hearing the other poems - such an honour to perform in the same category as the incredibly talented poets who made up the Over 25s.  Thanks to everyone for all your support: family, friends, colleagues - you have all been amazing.  I won a real enthusiasm for continuing with my writing and hope to perform some more in the future - that's the best kind of winning I know :)

I've forgotten what it feels like

to be the one

that you count on

for smiles and sun

So when the darkness appears

and my fun-filled head

rests in my bed

I feel real dread

I know the dreams are coming now

they always do

it's always you

I don't mean to

But my subconscious

is hearing voices

stupid noises

rest is pointless

What was that now?

It's telling me lies

that your heart is full of hate

I should learn not to wait

that my hands are tied by fate

But then last night

my subconscious

drowned those voices

oh, it got it right...

You were the same

and told me clearly

you cared for me dearly

and that you nearly

fell like others do.

But had to be honest,

it's not what you wanted,

and you just wondered

how I was and

wanted to say 'Hi',

then walk on by,

so satisfied.

And when I woke

I just knew it

we didn't fit

and the truth just unzipped:

confined

refined

an after thought

in your mind

but the centre

of mine

and that's not right.

So you did right.

So thanks for checking in

thanks for wandering

into my REM

and satisfying

my brain-

it's okay

and I'm not insane.

Voices are just voices

not reminiscent of bad choices

and now they're all choked up

because you just showed up

and said...

"I'm not the bee in your bonnet,

nor the words of your next sonnet

just the truth hiding in your closet -

don't pretend- you always knew it-

I was never what you wanted."

And that's honey to my ears:

exit dreams.