I know a lot of people who don't believe in destiny. To them, things happen because of the law of cause and effect. It's only by complete chance that you bump into an old friend in town, that's just because she needed to get some more bread and you needed to go to the bank, you crossed paths: co-incidence. Or you know how you met your partner, yeah your eyes met over a crowded room or something? Well he was just looking up to see if his mate had returned from a ciggie break and you were just absent mindedly staring at the poster on the back wall, and you accidentally made eye contact - co-incidence. Oh so he loves Radiohead as much as you? Well it doesn't mean you were always meant to meet. I like Radiohead too - are we soulmates now or something?
Maybe.
I don't believe life is a chain of events, one causing another, yet disconnected from the chain of events happening in the lives of people around you. No, I believe life is a complex structure of inter-connected and correlated events. A web that's weaved around you. I don't believe you are powerless to affect the way the structure pans out, but that certain things are laid down, and can't be avoided, they are simply part of the pattern in the weave.
Perhaps I sound like a crazy person right now, but I've given this a lot of thought over the years, and everything seems to make sense. Things have happened to me recently that I didn't expect to happen, but the more I think about it, the more I think that this is the way it's meant to be. No-one ever really knows but in hindsight, what was a wrong turn on your journey through life, and what was a meaningful learning curve put in your path for a reason. And maybe I'll never really figure it out. But is it stupid to think that some of these events, which I take meaning from, were always meant to be there so I could take meaning from them?
I'm not suggesting that while everyone else, without a moment's thought, shoves their hand in the biscuit tin and pulls out the first thing that comes to hand, I ponder thoroughly whether the bourbon biscuit is part of my destiny, or the digestive is an inevitable part of my fate. I'm not that bonkers, and no, I don't really think biscuit choices have too much significance in our lives (although you may be surprised by life one day, who knows?) Additionally, destiny isn't a foreboding thing which looms over your existence, weighing heavy on every decision made or considered. No, I mean more like, after something has happened, a pattern emerges, and I take meaning from the pattern.
For example, I was looking at flights to Mexico. I had more or less chosen which flights to book, when I was suddenly otherwise advised by friends. I took their advice, and by surprise it turned out for good. I met a guy on the flight from LA to La Paz who was excellent company and helped combat my nerves about the journey and challenges I'd face on the trip. We shared stories, and he was a welcome ear to my problems. Before we parted we compared return flights on our itineraries, and it just so happened we were on the same return flight. I'm willing to concede that this may very well be a big, fat co-incidence, as flights from La Paz to LA are infrequent and only fly on certain days. So if we both wanted a couple of weeks over there, we were most likely going to be returning on the same date. BUT, there was no need for us to share the return flight together, as we were seated in different seats on the way back. Despite this, no-one was actually sat next to me, and halfway through the journey said guy realised this and came and sat next to me anyway. Again we shared conversation and my worries about travelling seemed diminished. If we hadn't met on the first journey I certainly wouldn't have had company on the second! Co-incidence? Or was he meant to be part of my journey to and from Mexico? I think so. Maybe I was there for him more than he was there for me? I don't fully understand the meaning of this pattern, but perhaps it will become apparent later. Quite often that is the case.
I haven't really proved anything here, I'm more than aware of that. No matter what structure we choose to view our lives it is inevitable that as long as we are taking meaning from it and continue learning, then it is building us up. That, for me, is the most important thing.
Someone once told me that the utter pointlessness of everything in life is the meaning. Although I disagree, I like that there's still meaning to be had.
So really, what I'm getting at is, no matter whether you think destiny exists, or whether, for you, life is a series of unfortunate co-incidences or happy accidents, make sure you find something to take from it. Even if it's just the last bourbon cream in the biscuit tin.
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