I used to know you

When did I let it slide?

When did it pass me by?

I keep thinking about it -

can't stop thinking about it -

you were there, then you were gone,

and it's not like it went wrong

in fact, it went well,

and did for me as well.

 

So I think of you now

in Japan, and how

you've surely got 2 sons

let's call them Meridian and London,

because I can't imagine

you calling them anything else.

And your dogs, and the weird parrot you inherited

from your husband's best friend's next door neighbour's cousin-

the parrot that poops on everyone but London.

And I wonder what it was like for you during lockdown

and would you get my joke about Blue with their system up and the top down?

And that time you were driving and we talked about things I'd never say to anyone else,

and oh, I know, I guess I really do need help

if I'm still thinking about this now and...

how long has it been? Nearly ten years,

but it's just whizzed past in a blur.

I doubt I'll ever see you again

and if I did would I even know who you are now?

It's been too long,

surely it's been way too long.

So I'll stay, sitting here, trying to figure out when the end had its start

because I used to know you, but then we grew apart.

Covid Insecure

I look on you with envy

as you laugh with your friends 

at a beer garden, freezing,

as the rain descends.

I know you won’t strip bare

when you get back home, 

throw clothes in the washer, 

shower, scrub, once alone.

I know your hand won’t feel dirty

when it touches that glass,

your lips uncontaminated

as your mind rests on what’s passed.

All the memories unmade,

maybe the job you’ve lost too-

things have been hard-

relief too good to be true.

And I know you deserve it

but what causes me pain

is I also feel that I’ve earned it...

but when will I do this again?

When will I stand next to you

and not feel in distress,

almost feeling germs land on me

with each exhale of your breath?

When will I hop on a bus

and feel completely at ease

sitting next to another,

windows closed, not a breeze?

When will I walk once more

through a busy high street,

happy, close to so many,

a hop and skip in my feet?

When will I sing again

and when will I dance

at a busy club, pub or party?

Oh if only I’d chance!

My life stripped away

to its very bare bones,

I sit here and wonder

how to undo everything I’ve known

for over a year, 

spent learning new habits, 

fighting with my mind

yet I’ve still to fathom it.

When the government announces

“the end of restrictions”

(I’ve burned for this moment

that I almost thought fiction)

how do I recover as swiftly as you?

I know I need to start ahead of time

but I don’t have a clue!

It’s going to take months

and I’m going to frustrate you,

look on me with patience,

it’s now that I need you.

I’m still that social butterfly,

but wilting inside,

locked in a cocoon,

I’ve regressed over time.

But I’m itching to get back

to a busy, packed social life,

to plan my big wedding,

start the next chapter as a wife.

What was Once Classed as Daily

is now Obviously a Cause of Discomfort,

and me and my Oh Could Do

Oh would do

Oh long to!

Oh once knew!

Will dance together

forever,

until One Clear Day

when I teach him the steps.

But until then...

I look on you with envy.