Boxes

Right now, I live in a box
and so do you, and you, and you, and you.
We've become mime artists...
it's as true as Spandau Ballet's True.
We might not be able to break the fourth wall of Zoom,
but there is this really cool trick you can do
where you can kind of make it look like you're holding hands
or throwing things to each other,
but understand,
that if you really do throw that bottle of wine at the wall,
it's just gonna smash. (That's why you're meant to use toilet roll.)

But what kind of things can you do in a box?
Jonathan Van Ness married a couple from his box.
Gary Barlow did a few duets from his box.
You can virtual date,
you can try your hand at yoga,
do a status update,
or learn to speak like Yoda.
We thought a box would restrict
but boxes can be big,
can fit so much in,
that it's kinda uplifting.

We might be in boxes,
but we're never boxed in,
the walls are see-through,
that's why we're still talking.
We can break walls down
when the bricks can't be found,
because they're not so heavy
when you don't carry them around.

So for all I said we're all in boxes,
not all of these have straight edges.
We don't conform to a Zoom shaped oblong,
and if you feel like it's been so long
since you saw your face
in an alternative shape,
be assured
your individuality is preserved;
these boxes have curves.

The fact is that these boxes all fit together,
we're not round pegs in square holes,
but something much better,
from a bird's eye view, looking down to the floor,
our pieces are connected, just like a jigsaw.

So if you ever feel alone in your box,
just remember that your piece interlocks
with another, which in turn connects to another,
all of us can reach out,
and do more from our box,
than we'd ever discovered.

Trapped in a Book

Imagine if you woke up
in your favourite book,
would you take the side lines
afraid you might mess up
the plot line so delicate,
so intricately written?
Would that convince you somehow to stay hidden?
Or perhaps you'd be eager to push your way
into the inner circle like Dan Humphrey?
Maybe you'd have your own story or something,
taking place in the backdrop of your favourite setting?

But what if your favourite story is horror?
Would you want to be involved in that drama?
Would you feel the fear more acutely in the dark of the shadows,
without the safety net of being at home, hugging your pillow?
In a love triangle would you make it a square?
Trying to be a bystander but unaware
that the eyes of the protagonist are staring at you
when they really should be staring through!

Oh the possibilities that present when you live in a story
you've read thousands of times over, so you don't need to worry,
you know how everything is going to end,
you'll marry him, or her, or win over that friend,
the enemy will die, or both lovers perhaps will,
but that's okay, you could prepare for that ill.

Well, one day, somehow, we all woke up
only we weren't living in our favourite book,
but had stumbled into science fiction,
as easily as walking to our kitchen.
A daily walk,
or maybe a run,
cancellation station,
virtual fun.
2 metre gaps,
queues for miles out the shop,
elderly inside,
behind doors firmly locked.
Restaurants, bars, shops closed,
seasons change as we stare out the window.
Protection,
hand gel,
infection,
trying to keep well,
panic buyers,
I'll trade you loo roll for pasta,
garage stocked up won't get us through any faster.

Suddenly we're in history,
suddenly, it happened so suddenly,
trapped by social distance or anxiety?
Or OCD?
Or trapped with me?
And usually,
I dance my way out,
of trouble, worry, or doubt.
But no-one has ever been here before,
no-one knows what works yet or
what's the best thing to do
when life as you knew
has upped and left
you alone and bereft. 

What's worse is that it occurs to me,
and again it happens suddenly,
that no-one will ever write a book
about the 30-something who took one look
out the window during lockdown
and decided not to drown
in the social silence
so replaced it with the sound
of old-school retro songs
from the days of her youth
and let her body take her
to some place new!
Every move an ode to the days long past,
days that I wish right now I could have back;
when outside wasn't scary,
and no sanitizer, no worries,
and a supermarket delivery slot
was ten to a penny.

So maybe I'm not making history,
but since I'm in this sci-fi
I'm not gonna let this pass me by.
Time to write,
to sing,
to dance,
to talk,
to laugh,
to clean,
to Skype,
to Zoom (whatever that is)
to move my feet,
refuse to miss a beat.
And if no-one is going to write my story,
then I won't admit defeat...
I'll just write this poem instead.

❤️ In loving memory of Liliana Grace ❤️

One day, a few moons before this,

you were just a dream, a wish, 

a prayer flying free at the break of dawn;

a yearning heart in the early morn.

And then one day, a time or two ago,

you became a realised hope,

and postponed plans didn’t stop your spirit,

eyes on a life, and ready to live it!

I saw strength beyond compare

when you returned from doctors’ care,

thawed out and ready for your new home,

a warm, safe place to call your own.

So you were safely transferred there, 

and clung on, breathing your Mummy’s air,

you grew and refused to give in,

bloomed and kept on blossoming.

And even before we saw your face,

we knew you were Liliana Grace,

and no matter what would come your way,

you’d overcome obstacles every day.

Crafted carefully,

perfectly formed,

soon you were a baby soft and warm,

and decided it was time to meet your family 

even if a little too early!

I can’t tell you how loved you are,

your very existence a shining star,

you put a smile on everyone’s lips,

whenever they saw you, it was pure bliss.

Your Mummy and Daddy were besotted before first sight,

you became their beam of light

in the darkness of a cruel, harsh world,

too cruel and harsh for such a sweet girl.

Your journey had not been an easy one,

and even on arrival, the struggles went on,

but you proved yourself to be the strongest of fighters

defying even the belief of the doctors!

And every time I saw you in that cot,

body shaking with every breath that you took,

I couldn’t help but be strengthened by you;

your resilience and bravery shining through.

It wasn’t long before your parents declared,

her strength is unparalleled, can’t be compared,

with both beauty and spirit defying what we expect

she is, of course, our warrior princess.

And that is why when you had no fight left,

when we had to watch you take your very last breath,

there was nothing at all that could be said

to fill the gaping hole that your presence left.

Never before has someone so tiny,

proved themselves to be so very mighty,

and if any of us have an iota of you

within our hearts then we’ll somehow pull through...

Because now you are the strength in our hearts,

we are changed people, though broken in parts,

inspired by way that you lived your short life,

and  saddened to watch you to heaven take flight.

But we’ll never forget your ballerina toes,

your very long fingers, your cute button nose,

and I’m so thankful that you fell from above

because now I know the real meaning of love.