One of the things which will (probably) never get old for anyone ever is taking quizzes about what sorta personality type you are. This kind of categorisation has been going on ever since Freud was a twinkle in his Papa's eye (*please note: this is not a history lesson, I don't actually factually know if this is true...) And the reason why we like it so much is because we like ourselves.
It's no secret that the most important thing to you is, well, you. Although I know many selfless people, there is a natural tendency for humans to be absorbed in self. This isn't something to be down about - in the words of Jason Mraz "We're only human", and afterall, we're hardly as bad as Descartes! (he seemed pretty wrapped up in himself didn't he? "I think therefore I am..." yada yada)
Lately, I've seen a few things doing the rounds on the Internet concerning extroverts vs introverts. This caught my attention for a few reasons. Firstly, I used to know exactly what I was out of those two. It was clear as day. I didn't want to talk to anyone I didn't know, I had a few close personal friends who knew a lot about me, the rest were people I got along with but wouldn't exactly be people I shared my secrets with...and I would make countless excuses up to avoid social interactions with people, even my very close friends. Yes, I was as introvert as a snail, a tortoise or...or...a hedgehog!
Somewhere along the line though, I think my introvert self got turned inside out. I saw something on Buzzfeed (okay, I know, not the psychological point of reference that Carl Jung would be proud of or whatever) which made me think twice about the introvert me. The description of the extrovert in each picture reminded me of...me! The person who never shuts up, always tries to connect with people, comes off a little clingy because of the need to just be talking, to anyone, my want to be the centre of attention and of course my recent 'hobby' of talking to strangers as though I know them. "What could all this mean?" I asked myself.
Well, I did some soul searching. I thought about that time in English in Year 9 when I got the chance to play Lady Macbeth and got a little buzz from performing in front of my class. I also thought about that time I pretended to be interested in a packet of custard powder in the Co-Op because I saw someone I was friends with from the CU at Uni and didn't want to have to speak to them. And I was curious.
I came across the term "ambivert". Yeah, weird, I know, someone resented being labelled either one or other and decided there was a name for someone who is not strongly either way inclined.
Despite having done a number of quizzes (all with different results about whether I'm introvert, extrovert or ambivert...or belong in the lunatic asylum (thanks for the insult Jung!)) I came to no conclusion really, other than the fact that, apparently, I would make a good salesperson (?!) And so, I decided, that I didn't want to fit in a box.
I mean, who knows me better than a quiz I found through the medium of Google? Precisely - everyone. Even Alex who works at the Sainsbury's Local knows me better than a quiz on the Internet (*disclaimer, I don't know if anyone who works at the Sainsbury's Local is called Alex...)
I know me. I know that I don't fit into these boxes. I don't even fit into that box 'ambivert' that is reserved for those people who don't like being in boxes. Because, well, I'm claustraphobic and stuff.
I'd like to think that there's a whole row of boxes with a bunch of people in, all confused about their identity (Descartes is sobbing "Who am I?" Freud is shouting back "I am your Father!" Darth Vader style from the box next door...) all the while I am jumping around like a loon on top of the boxes, singing something idiotic and trying not to fall in.
I think, somewhere along the line, I got lost in this metaphor. But, if this post is nothing more than nonsensical ramblings, at least I can be proud that I managed to reference Freud, Descartes, Jung, Jason Mraz, Vince Noir, Darth Vader and Alex from Sainsbury's Local all in the same blog post!
