An unexpected meeting with inspiration.

Lacking in inspiration for my latest piece, I sat in the garden, only aiming to catch a few rays and paint my nails. I hadn't thought about the possibilty of being overcome with such a renewed sense of writing inspiration merely in the back garden, but that's what happened.

It is a sore point that I'm longing to return to my perfect thinking place, the river in Durham. And on a day like today, the weather was perfect for a frappe and a meander round my favourite walk, followed by some sunbathing on the river bank in the company of only my Johnny Depp beach towel and my mp3 player.

I don't know if it was my choice to mirror the ideal with my beach towel on the lawn and my earphones on my phone's music player (since my mp3 player seems to have breathed its last...) or simply because it was such a beautiful day, but inspiration seemed to find me.

The sky was a clear, bright blue. I didn't feel the usual sense of panic when the bees came near me (and they always do. I can distinctly remember running along the walkway by the river shouting 'there's a bee!' interrupting the peace of some poor family on a Sunday afternoon walk...) and I began to take note of the things in the garden, and the birds in the sky. One thing I'd never noticed before was the budding of the willow tree, about to come into leaf. For some reason I only seem to notice the willow when its branches are bare or when the leaves are falling, but today I broke that rule...

The afternoon was only made more perfect by the Owl City which I was playing through my phone. The album 'All Things Bright and Beautiful' reminds me of two things 1) summer 2) possibility.

It was last summer that I first heard this very album, when possibility lay before me. The possibility of travel and adventure. The possibility that my trip to Poland would bring.

Right now I'm faced with that exact same thing. More travels bring more possibility, more excitement and more adventure. Sure, I don't really know where exactly I'll be in a year's time but all I can see now is possibility. Positivity.

My nails are now a bright purple, my vision for the future invigorated, and most importantly...inspiration rocked up. And now my main character is faced with more possibility than ever!

What happens in Poland...

Staring at the open suitcases, half un-packed, I sit here wondering how I got here. Not home, that's obvious. No, I mean, here figuratively. My life was going pretty much the same as everyone else's. I left university, I got a job, I moved out. I worked hard, I earned money, I shopped at the weekends. Then suddenly I decided it wasn't what I wanted. The hum drum wasn't what I wanted for myself, not right now. So I got a job in Poland.

And it was fantastic! The people I met, the things we did, the mad crazy adventures. Waking up one day and deciding to go to Czech. Hopping on a train for day trips to places I never knew existed before I rocked up in Polska. And the work barely even felt like work. It was a job I enjoyed more than I'd ever enjoyed a job before. I still worked hard, but I laughed and smiled and sang through working days, as though it wasn't really work at all.

But now I'm home again. The adventure came to an end. And that makes me sad. More sad than I thought it would.

But it's not the end!

I'm not going to sit here staring at my suitcases, mourning an adventure that has been completed. I'm not going to see myself as a time traveller, going the wrong way, fighting against the progress of my own life. Am I the same person as when I left in Spetember? No! I am different because I've grown with the experiences I've had. And now I'm about to embark on a series of new adventures, and I don't have time to be held back by my own negative thoughts, rearing their ugly heads, making me feel sadness, when really I should feel joy.

Today I'm going to finish unpacking, and finally signify the end of my Polish adventures. It doesn't mean Poland never happened. It doesn't mean I'm the same person I was when I went. Experience gives you so much self-growth and development that you can't undo it simply by being somewhere you've been before.

And when I start my new adventures, in a mere few weeks time, I will continue to grow from my experience, and have more to bring back to my life in the UK.

All journeys have pit stops, you have to rest up, grab a coffee, get some sleep and plan the rest of your route. A pit stop doesn't halt your progress, it actually furthers it. It gives you time to reflect, to learn, to enjoy!

So, I'm not gonna be sad about leaving Poland anymore. I left Poland to go on more adventures. So... the rest of the world better be ready for me, because Frankie's on her way!

The dis-organised internal monologue of an anxious traveller...

I want to be

the bag,

the weight,

you drag round the world

on your shoulders.

Couldn't get closer,

want to be closer...

Pick up a postcard

and write me something

even if it's not what you want to say.

Couldn't get further,

couldn't get further away...

I don't need to kiss you

or love you

or need your body wrapped round mine,

I just want to be closer

closer than I got last time.

No land

no seas

no heat

no freeze

can free me from this ill-at-ease.

Let me be closer

pack me with you

take me with you,

please.